Jurassic World Rebirth: "one big pile of sh*t"
07/17/2025
Jurassic World Rebirth (JWR) was clearly made by and for media executives to turn a quick profit. The plot is uninspired, the characters are dull, and although the VFX are impressive, they fail to add to the story or push the barrier of what can be done with dinosaurs on film. There is no message, no theme, and no exploration of Jurassic World or our own real world.
The plot
JWR opens with basically the same opening scene from Godzilla (2014, also directed by Gareth Edwards). Some scientists in hazmat suits go into a sealed enclosure for the âD-Rex.â Something goes wrong, the doors donât seal, and the D-Rex attacks the lab. The only difference from Godzilla, is that this time Snickers paid millions of dollars to shove their product into a top-secret sterile lab. It doesnât make any damn sense, and it degrades the scene into an advertisement for a candy bar, rather than a suspenseful build to the plot.
Years later, we learn that islands around the coast are the only habitable zones for dinosaurs. A group of mercenaries and a scientist accompany a âbig pharmaâ exec to an island to get blood samples from dinosaurs. The whole thing is simultaneously overexplained and oversimplified. JWR clearly believes its audience has a collective IQ of 3. There are no underlying themes, no metaphors, nothing for the audience to ponder. The plot fails to provide any depth to the story, and does not provide the characters with any emotional tie to the events that unfold on the island.
On the island the group encounters monsters that resemble dinosaurs (as most are âmutantâ dinosaurs). The characters that you think will die, die. The characters you think will live, live. The only scene I enjoyed was the T-Rex river chase, though I wish the trailers hadnât spoiled the entire scene. This scene was adapted straight from the first novel, and itâs a pretty faithful interpretation, all things considered.
The Characters
Originally, I had outlined sections to write about all of the characters individually, but honestly there just isnât enough to write about. Every character is distilled into archetypes found in every Hollywood adventure movie. All of them have their Marvel quips. All the main characters survive (Duncan, played by Mahershala Ali should have died, though). The comic relief is annoying, the family doesnât seem very close, and the rest of the cast is clearly there for a paycheck. I blame the script more than the actors. Basically, the characters serve as nothing more than faces to deliver (an abysmal amount of) exposition to keep the story moving towards a âconclusion.â
The âDinosaursâ
As much as I detest this movie, Gareth Edwards did a good job with the VFX, as usual. From my perspective, the actors were all clearly stuck in front of green screens the entire movie (which I think contributes to a less convincing performance from the entire cast), but the visual effects do a decent job at compensating. The Mosasaurus and Spinosauruses looked amazing, as did the T-rex and the Titanosaurs! The raft scene especially looked stunning.
The new mutant dinosaurs however, really sucked. Replacing the velociraptors with dragons was a poor decision, as the audience has had decades of conditioning that the raptors are the most dangerous predator in the Jurassic Park franchise. The design of the D-Rex was bad. Straight up bad. It looked like the CG artists took the original T-Rex model, added arms, and gave it a tumor on its head. Lazy, uninspired, and nonsensical (yes, even though itâs a CGI monster). JWR had a chance for unique and compelling dinosaur design and failed to do anything with it, opting for star wars monsters instead.
Concluding Thoughts
Overall, Jurassic World Rebirth fails to deliver. The plot and characters have no substance or depth, and the CGI doesnât do a good enough job of creating impactful scenes. The franchise as a whole has a magnificent opportunity to provide insight and messaging about themes of scientific advancement, ethics, genetic technologies, nature vs humanity, and more â but JWR ignores this, leaving the audience with slop.
2/10
